2001: A Space Travesty

2001: A Space Travesty is a 2000 comedy/sci-fi film directed by Allan A. Goldstein. Produced by Cinevent, it was released to DVD and VHS on March 19th, 2002. The movie is a lampoon of the 1968 Stanley Kubrick science fiction classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. The film stars veteran comedy actor Leslie Nielsen as Richard "Dick" Dix, a U.S. Marshall assigned to investigate evidence suggesting that the President of the United States has been replaced with an alien clone. Dix's investigation leads him to Moon Base Vegan where he unwittingly aids the aliens in their bid to take over the country.

Plot
Police detective Richard Dix is on his way to the office when he fields a call about a hostage situation taking place at Big Joe's fast food outlet. He pulls up in his Volkswagen Beetle, slamming into a pole holding up the Big Joe's sign. He goes inside to clear up the matter, but mistakes the hostages for the terrorists and vice versa. The polce that he slammed into eventually crashes down through the ceiling and the police waiting outside behind a barricade fire tear gas into the building. Feeling as if the situation is well in hand, Dix continues on to the precinct.

He meets with Police Chief Halverson who introduces him to Cassandra Menage, the woman in charge of Human/Alien Affairs. Dix respects the woman's position, feeling as if affairs between humans and aliens are a distasteful practice at best. After correcting him on the proper definition of "alien" (in this case, they are talking about actual extraterrestrials), they tell Dix about a problem that they are having with the Vegan outpost located on Earth's moon. Menage explains that the administrator of the station, Doctor Griffith Pratt, has abducted the President of the United States and replaced him with a clone. Dix is to go to Vegan under the pretense of being an inspector and get to the truth of the matter.

The shuttle trip to Vegan proves very trying for Dix as he has difficulty dealing with the artificial gravity. A flight attendant serves drinks and her skirts blows up from a floor fan, revealing her bare bottom. A voice over the intercom system warns the passengers that the artificial gravity may cause hallucinations. Dix gets up to avail himself of the restroom just as the artificial gravity is switched off.

He finally gets to the Starport on Vegan and is taken aback as he sees a menagerie of strange aliens crowding the bustling terminal. He is then greeted by the port's chief of security, Lieutenant Bradford Shitzu. Shitzu shows him around and introduces him to a French-speaking officer named Captain Valentino Di Pasquale. Dix has trouble pronouncing the man's name and assumes that he is speaking in an extraterrestrial tongue.

Shitzu brings Dix to see the station's scientific administrator, Doctor Griffin Pratt. Dix tells Pratt that he is only on Vegan as part of a routine inspection. Pratt shows Dix a scale model replica he made of the entire facility and introduces him to his assistant, Yetta Pussel. He then brings Dix to the underground laboratory facility where he shows him their experiments with silicon and presents him to his senior base Science Officer, Uschi Künstler. Künstler shows Dix around the laboratory and tells them about the experiments they have been conducting on genetic replication. Her work has primarily been used to clone rabbits and sheep. Uschi and Dix leave the lab to go meet Cassandra Menage, who is working undercover as well. Menage finds the two of them in a compromising position in the elevator.

That evening, Dix attends a social gathering hosted by Doctor Griffin Pratt. While bumbling about between the various guests, both alien and human, Dix accidentally flings a piece of strange, slimy food that hits Pratt in the back of the head. Dix tries to discretely remove the food particles only to find that Pratt is wearing a hairpiece. The hairpiece comes flying off and makes its way around the room several times, before finally returning to its rightful owner.

As the night wears on, Dix is shown to his quarters. He is sharing a room with Captain Valentino Di Pasquale. Pasquale is eager to help Dix with his case, and professes to be a master of disguise. After entertaining Pasquale's nuances for a bit, Dix goes off to find evidence of Vegan's secret human cloning laboratories.

He sneaks into Pratt's office and tries to find a full layout of the facility. Bumbling about, he trips over himself several times, smearing paint all across Pratt's bearskin rug and destroying his scale model of the base in the process. He eventually manages to get out of the office undiscovered, but when Pratt and Künstler enter the room, they find the place in shambles. Pratt is outraged and knows that Dix is behind it. He goes to his quarters to confront him, but Richard accidentally smears shaving cream and paint all over him. Pratt growls at him and says that he knows who he is, and that he will never find "him".

That evening, Richard Dix goes to another party being held at a night club. He meets up with Shitzu and Pasquale and tells them to keep an eye on Doctor Pratt, but the French security captain is more preoccupied with finding an available restroom than anything else. Cassandra Menage provides the entertainment for the evening by getting on stage and performing her rendition of KC and the Sunshine Band's 1975 disco anthem "Get Down Tonight". For the first time since meeting her, Dix now feels strangely attracted to Menage. As dancers continue moving about, one of them spills a drink onto Lieutenant Shitzu. Sparks begin crackling all about him and his head telescopes from his body like a Jack-in-the-Box. Dix now realizes that Shitzu is actually a cyborg.

Uschi Künstler invites Dix back to her personal chambers. At first, she appears to know something about Dix's undercover investigation, but then she attempts to seduce him by undressing and doing a provocative dance before him. Dix is unimpressed however and returns to the quarters he shares with Pasquale.

When he gets there, he finds Cassandra Menage and Pasquale drinking coffee. Convinced that Pratt truly has abducted the president, Dix sends a message to Secretary Osgood back on Earth. While he's informing him of the news, somebody abducts Cassandra out from under their noses. She manages to leave a message on the door written in glue, but Dix bumps into it, attaching himself to the door, and thus destroying the message.

Dix cleans himself up and goes to Pratt's office. He is ready to arrest him for kidnapping the president. Pratt confesses to developing a process by which to clone the Chief Executive, but now states that he is wrought with guilt over the matter and wants to help Dix set things right. He brings Dix down to the cloning facility and takes him to the president's cell. The president tries to prove that he truly is who he sees he is by revealing a birth mark in the shape of a four-leaf clover and by demonstrating his skill (or lack thereof) with a saxophone.

As they are leaving the prison block, Dix finds Cassandra lying prone on a table wrapped up in bubble wrap. As he frees her, Pratt summons his alien bodyguards. Dix realizes that Pratt was not truly out to help him and had led him into a trap. While Dix fumbles with a pair of handcuffs, Cassandra uses her martial arts prowess to make short work of Pratt's goons. They disguise the president as Fidel Castro and smuggle him back to the launch pad where they take him back to Earth.

Back in Washington, Dix, Captain Pasquale and Secretary Osgood arrange a plan to switch the clone with the real president. Once the switch is made, they bring the clone back to the Watergate Hotel where they meet up with Cassandra and Uschi Künstler. They turn on the television and watch a press conference in which the president announces his attentions to broaden Earth's influence to include extraterrestrial trade agreements at the upcoming International Heads of State conference in Paris, France. Standing next to the president however is Doctor Griffin Pratt. Dix and the others realize that they've been set up. The president was never actually kidnapped at all. Griffin manipulated Dix into bringing the clone back to Earth and switching him out with the real president. They then discover that Secretary Osgood was part of Pratt's scheme all along. Osgood tries to shoot the president, but Cassandra knocks him out by smashing a vase over his head.

The entire group goes to a special engagement at the Paris Opera House where the President is expected to make an appearance. The plan is to switch the clone with the real president underneath the stage beneath the trap door lifts before the president is scheduled to make his appearance. Dix and the others go incognito dressed as Sheiks while Shitzu is dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Cassandra has already infiltrated the orchestra and is up on the stage as the clone President makes his way down the aisle. He sits down next to his wife. Pratt is in attendance as well and spots Captain Pasquale masquerading as an ice cream barker.

Dix and the real president sneak backstage and try to make their way to the lift controls for the stage's trap doors. A dressing room attendant comes upon them and mistakes Dix for the Maestro. She pleads with Dix to provide her a sample of his singing talent. While he deals with the uncomfortable situation, Shitzu and Pasquale make their way to the control room. They accidentally foul up the controls and the stage lifts begins lowering the performers under the stage.

Following a series of hijinx involving the three tenors, Dick is finally ready to make the switch. The clone president takes the stage and begins performing a piece on his saxophone. Rather than lowering the lift to replace him however, Dix actually raises a second platform with the real president and both men appear on stage. The clone grows angry and tackles the president and the two begin fighting. As a wave of shock and awe passes across the crowd, Dix, Pratt and Secretary Osgood rush the stage. They break up the fight, but now they must determine which man is the real president and which one is the clone. The true president is revealed when the two men compare each other's abilities with a saxophone.

Enraged that his plot has failed, Pratt attacks Dix and the two swap blows with one another. Dix defends himself by throwing stage props at him. He eventually stuns Pratt and drags him back onstage where he is handed over to the gendarmes.

In the midst of chaos Uschi Künstler shows her true face - literally. Not only is she a double-agent who truly is working for Pratt, but she is also an alien whose voice sounds remarkably similar to that of a famous Austrian action movie star. Picking up a rifle, she attempts to kill the president, but Cassandra Menage exposes Künstler's disguise. She tries to escape by floating out of the auditorium, but Cassandra fires a slingshot at her, causing her bloated alien form to explode. Green ooze splatters all across the audience. With all the villains disposed of, the real president takes center stage and publicly thanks Marshall Dix for all of his hard work in helping to uncover the conspiracy.

Six months later, Dix and Cassandra go out to dinner. As Dix struggles to eat a sandwich with a took pick sticking out of it, two of Pratt's alien thugs enter the restaurant, threatening to kill him. Dix pulls a gigantic hand gun out of his jacket and the aliens run off in terror. Cassandra is impressed with Dix and thanks him for saving the world again - again. She rewards him with a passionate kiss. Afterward, Dix looks towards the camera and smiles.

Appearances